It started off one average day, when I received a message from an unknown sender.
"PackersMan12345: hello," he said.
I replied, "engrish: quien es?"
And then came the astounding, "PackersMan12345: awe u wiwiam hung"
Wow. Well, I guess I wasn't that surprised, since maybe a retard would think that William Hung would be stupid enough to have such an awesome screen name. So I replied:
engrish: who are you?Amazingly enough, he decided to sign off right as I blocked him. But the saga continues.
PackersMan12345: who awe u
PackersMan12345: awe u wiwiam hung
engrish: you first
PackersMan12345: say or ill hack u
PackersMan12345: in
PackersMan12345: 5
PackersMan12345: 4
PackersMan12345: 3
PackersMan12345 signed off at 6:35:13 PM.
Soon, more and more random people start instant messaging me. Many are short:
PuNkBeEyAtCh2461: HI
engrish: who are you?
PuNkBeEyAtCh2461: oops sry rong sn
PuNkBeEyAtCh2461: bi
forgiveTHEidgit: hey shelby, this date is gonna be fun!Most are annoying:
engrish: ?
forgiveTHEidgit: sorry
forgiveTHEidgit: wrong screen name
BlueRaider0: yo fool
engrish: who is this?
BlueRaider0: oh, oops, I must have the wrong SN
BlueRaider0: is this, uhhh, Kirby?
engrish: no
BlueRaider0: hah, wow - my bad
BlueRaider0: sorry man
Chronic2387: hello
engrish: who is this?
Chronic2387: whos this
engrish: nope, you first
Chronic2387: your mom
engrish: well then
engrish: i'll be going...
Chronic2387: mom will be going
engrish: goodbye
Chronic2387: your mom goodbye
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: hiAnd the list continues. Because I'm not very willing to give away any personal information, I have received many death threats. Because I'm apparently William Hung, I have received many compliments and insults on my singing ability as well as many offerings of young girls' bodies.
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: r u from american i dol
engrish: wow
engrish: would you people leave me alone?
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: y
engrish: it's annoying
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: ur a jerk
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: no wonder y they picked u
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: wait but r u from american idol
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: yes or no question
engrish: just leave me alone
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: well r u
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: after u anwser all stop
engrish: just go away
HOOkemHorNZnuM1: ru and then i will
engrish: goodbye
Soon after this flood of instant messages, I began to realize there must be some connection between them all. And I found my answer when someone kindly revealed the website that brought me so much fame:
www.tizzletalk.com
Now, I'm not advertising that you visit this site, as it's the entire reason why I am so bitter online. But if you do go there, you'll notice that it's an add-on program to AOL Instant Messenger that "translates" your text into a variety of made-up dialects, including "redneck," "ebonics," and of course, "engrish." With each of these different dialects is an accompanying picture, and the one for engrish just happens to be William Hung. Now the thing that gets me is that people really believe that not only William Hung's screen name is on that site, but also Jessica Simpson's, Arnold Schwarzenegger's, and George W. Bush's.
As time progressed, about half of the people thought that I was the translator itself, and instead of downloading a program, they would send their message for me to translate. Those people were usually the ones shocked that I would respond. But the other half thought that I was William Hung himself.
The conversations continue and get more and more detailed, vulgar, and annoying, but there is no time for all of them. As of right now, I have received over 50 instant messages from unknown people regarding this. It's gotten a little out of hand. So my word of advice to you is that if you want to talk to me online, please first state a greeting, promptly followed by your name and relation to me. Otherwise it won't be long before I block you.
