I hate how society has molded our taste buds to accept the flavor "mint" to mean "clean." The most common toothpaste, mouthwash, and chewing gum flavors are a variety of mint. They even make mint toothpicks for that little edge on picking plaque out of your teeth.

Now obviously, the mint flavoring is not cleaning your teeth. That would be the job of the other ingredients, the reason you buy the products. But because it's so common, I feel weakened in my daily life, associating minty things with a clean mouth.

Take breath mints, for example. It's essentially candy. But whenever I have one, mentally I feel like it's a legitimate substitute for brushing my teeth when in fact, I probably need to brush my teeth more.

And on that idea, the stronger the mint flavor, the cleaner your mouth must be. When you chew on an Altoids, your body can't think of anything but the burn in your mouth. The more hidden other flavors are, the cleaner your mouth must be.

This was all spurred by a little pole of Andes chocolates I found on my desk, presumably put there by Tony. I've learned that they're extremely addicting. They're bite sized and delicious. But the worst part is that they have a layer of minty goodness. After eating a handful, I came very close to hopping in bed, feeling clean. Oh how deceptive they are.

I can't believe I wrote this. I must be the son of a dentist or something.