I was at Shields Library the other day, finding some more books for my term paper. I was afraid I might exceed the borrowing limit soon, since I already had a few books back at my dorm.

As the check out girl was scanning my books, I politely asked her, “Is there a limit to how many books you can check out?”

Her reply: “Yep. Three…”

Shoot. I have three at home.

“…hundred.”

Wow.

You can check out three hundred books at a time from Shields Library. That means I could start my own Jeff Lee Library, based in my dorm room, rotating the selection every two weeks. I’m sure it would get to the point where they would just start giving me books since they’d be sick of ringing up the 300 books, so I might look into that. Make a little profit on the side, autographing library cards and whatnot.

Better yet, I could find some popular class where the requirement is to write a similar essay, then check out every book on that topic and rent them out to people. I am so devious.

Anyway, I’m feeling kind of pathetic with 1/60 my total limit of books. Maybe I’ll go there today and check out books nonsensically, hopefully making my bibliography longer than the actual essay.