In honor of my 100th post, I will celebrate by writing about everyone's favorite celebratory topic: death.

In each of the past two days there has been an article about a body found the day prior. Since death is a very serious issue, I think you should feel terrible if you find this at all funny.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006.

Unidentified body found in McDonald's parking lot

As the title so blatantly suggests, there was an unidentified body found in a local McDonald's parking lot. Pretty much the only interesting thing gained through the content of the article was the fact that his body did not show any visible signs of trauma or distress. It seems pretty clear to me that this man died as a result of an internal problem. When I hear something like this, my first assumption would be a heart attack, since it's a pretty common form of internal distress. Now, does it seem at all strange, funny, or coincidental that they found a man dead, let's assume from a heart attack, in the parking lot of a McDonald's? Do we really need to investigate this further?

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Body found in Sproul Hall late Wednesday

This one was a little creepy since I had class at 8:00 this morning four floors above where this happened. Basically, two janitors found the body of a young Asian man hanging from a yellow rope in a custodial closet. I've never personally been to the third floor of Sproul, but one of my friends guessed it was the Chinese department. Let's assume this Asian man was Chinese. So, we have a Chinese man hanged by a yellow rope. Really now, I'm not sure this actually happened. I'm thinking it's just an elaborate, grotesque metaphor.