Rather Dashing

Moving On

2007-02-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

So after a while here, I've decided to move on. Grow up a little bit. I've purchased a domain and have made some effort to organize the web logging. You can find all future posts at www.onthetables.com. Go ahead. Subscribe to that rss feed. Redirect your bookmarks and the links at the side of your blog.

Flashmob

2007-02-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

At noon today, I took part in my very first flashmob. You can read about it and view YouTube videos here.

To Jayna, From Ben

2007-01-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

As I was driving to the Olde English show last night, I called my sister to see if there was anything she wanted to tell Ben Popik, her fake, creepy, internet boyfriend. She told me just to give him a hug. So I did.

Message from Ben:
Subtitle this picture, "I'm coming after you" or something to that effect.

Book Care

2007-01-13T14:18:00.000-08:00

I just came across this lovely site with instructions on how to care for your books. It really surprises me that I didn't write this myself. It has all the obsessive and annoying aspects of my love for books. My favorite section is the one on how not to loan books. There are some seriously classy instructions there, making it clear that it's better to lose your friends than loan your books. I highly recommend checking out the site in order to learn more about taking care of your precious books.

Equestrian Attire

2007-01-10T23:12:00.000-08:00

Here's my completely random and thought-provoking realization of the day:

I think that people who wear non-hooded sweatshirts are people who are really into horses.

When I say 'sweatshirts,' I mean athletic-type sweatshirts, the type that are generally either a light gray or a dark blue. We're not talking about dressy sweaters, the kind that might have an argyle design or that middle-aged men would wear at a house party while drinking a glass of red wine. In my mind, anyone I can picture wearing a non-hooded sweatshirt I can picture either working with horses, spending free time looking at horses, or drawing crude sketches of horses in the margins of a moderately organized notebook.

The reason I have come to openly equate these two groups of people is the observation of a girl in my Linguistics class. She was the sort of girl you look at and immediately understand she had a quiet childhood. She looked pretty young yet had a flashy ring on her left ring finger, likely signifying a youthful marriage. However, the first thing I noticed about her was the fact that she was wearing a non-hooded sweatshirt. In fact, she was wearing one both days I've seen her. In contrast, the last thing I noticed about her was as she was getting ready to leave, she put on a jacket that had "UC Davis Equestrian Center" on the back. I realized this didn't strike me as odd in any way, then started picturing the sweatshirts of all the people I know who are really into horses.

And It Continues

2007-01-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

So I was wrong. It wasn't the end.

I realized this when Kate, AJ's girlfriend, parked in the tandem space behind my car. This meant that if I needed to go anywhere, I would have to ask her to move it and create a minor inconvenience. This is how it's supposed to work, but AJ parks in another spot because nobody actually cares.

When I first saw the car parked behind me, I was really excited. I so badly wanted to have that car towed, I nearly called our apartment manager right then and there. However, I noticed the license plate frame had "Chico" on it, so I made the correct assumption it was one of my roommates' friends.

In order to get back at Kate, I decided to install the frame on her car. Not sure what to make it say, I consulted Joe. I admit, it was a wonderful idea.

Sunday afternoon, when they went to Sacramento in AJ's truck, I installed the frame on the back of her car.

While I was at school Monday, I got the following message on my phone from AJ:

Hey Jeff, you little sneak. You almost got away with your plan to have Kate be harassed her entire way home by honking drivers. But we caught it... in the parking lot, so your plan was foiled, just so you know. I hope you're devastated.

Later on, he admitted that he was secretly sad they caught it. It would be great to see a girl completely confused as to why everyone was honking at her for the 2 hour drive to Chico.

The End of the License Plate Prank

2007-01-03T10:01:00.000-08:00

Over the break, I learned that I rarely look at the front of my car.

In an effort to get back at Brandon, I tried to put it on the back of my car. I soon learned that the screws my license plate uses are too big to fit in the holes. This made me sad. I had a really good one too:

Alas, I bring you my workstation. This is where all the magic happened:

Real Chinese

2006-12-31T21:21:00.000-08:00

Last night, we had the opportunity to learn what we've actually been saying in Chinese. Surprisingly, most of it wasn't bad at all. My grandma translated several of the phrases as "shucks," and one as "hopeless" (or in other words, "insolent fool, a disgrace to the family"). The best part was when my brother asked about another particular phrase that led to a giant gasp from our grandma. She was nearly mortified and asked where he had heard that. After the blame had been placed on our father, she explained that we're all family so it's okay. Apparently it means "small penis." She justified this by saying that my brother is a young boy. Our father is a big man, so there was a different phrase to use. I think we have plenty of material to use against David now.

The Early Shift

2006-12-30T14:45:00.000-08:00

When I looked at my work schedule last night, I noted that I had an 8:30-4:30 shift. It's a little earlier than the normal early shift, so I woke up groggy and cold, breakfasted, put on a suit, and went to work. When I arrived, there was only one stock guy in the back and the whole store seemed eerily vacant. I did the usual morning activities, such as dusting and getting things in order. Around 8:45, I noticed the escalators still weren't turned on, something that is extremely unusual 15 minutes before opening. There were very few people in the department and the mall doors still had bars on them. It didn't look like any registers were actually open yet. The other opener showed up the same time as our manager, who explained that it was a mistake on the schedule and that we weren't supposed to show up until an hour later. In other words, he made us clock out and do nothing. We couldn't even help in the back, since non-sell hours are counted differently. It was an interesting morning.

Family Dinner

2006-12-29T19:14:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is our annual family Christmas dinner for my dad's side of the family. We will finally get to ask our grandma what all these Chinese swear words we use actually mean.

Fish Market

2006-12-28T20:24:00.000-08:00

We saw this sign at the fish market in Ensenada. I had to do a double take, then pointed it out to everyone around me.

Seen in Ensenada

2006-12-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Best of all, my mother took the photo.

Prizes for Liars

2006-12-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

I asked the cruise people if they would allow me to play a piano anywhere on the boat. They explained that the musicians are still rehearsing and that they wouldn't let people do that for another six or so cruises. Strange.

We noticed yesterday that there was a talent show in the afternoon. We later realized that it was for the little kids. After watching about half the show, a guy came out with a guitar and played a rather awful rendition of a Bob Dylan song. He said he was seventeen.

This sparked my interest, so Jordan and I went down and asked if I could join the talent show. They said that if they had time, they would let me play. Because this was for the youngsters, I had to lie and say that I was seventeen.

I was glad to have the opportunity to play the piano and sing (I did an old Tom Waits song). Since little kids don't take failure that well, everyone got a gold medal, including me. I was awarded for lying about my age.

At the same time, there was a speed climbing competition at the rock wall. My brother, a seventeen year old, lied that he was an adult in order to compete and get third place. We wore our falsely earned prizes with pride.

Multimedia message

2006-12-25T15:18:00.001-08:00

Last night, I came very close to doing karaoke but they ran out of time. We discovered that the concept is almost a complete form of entertainment. You have music and comedy; all you need is a plot. My idea was to preface the event by explaining that a king is holding a singing contest to determine his daughter's husband. Oh, the drama.

Multimedia message

2006-12-24T15:05:00.001-08:00

According to cruise documents, the official language of San Diego is English. Also, the currency is US dollars. I came so close to using denari, it's a good thing they informed us of this strange American tradition.

Multimedia message

2006-12-23T14:17:00.000-08:00

Last night, the heat was turned to cold and I had the equivalent of two thin sheets. Not a good start of a vacation, but it is getting better. I mean, I did bring my trumpet...

Cruise

2006-12-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

We'll be leaving on a cruise in a few hours. Things are rather hectic. So obviously, Scott (my cousin) and I stayed in bed for hours longer than everyone else. Oh, I should probably go pack.

McDonald's

2006-12-21T21:15:00.000-08:00

When we were driving home from Davis, the people in my car decided to stop at McDonald's in King City for dinner. Not being an extremely big fan of the place, I browsed the menu for a bit. I noticed that the 6 piece chicken McNugget was listed as the same price for the 10 piece, $2.59 or something like that. When it was my turn to order, I asked about this.

"How much is the 10 piece chicken McNugget?" I asked. With a little deliberation as to how to check the price of an item (McDonald's employees are not known for their intelligence, among other things), he gave me the answer of $2.79. At this, I pointed out that it was advertised as $2.59 on the board, so I requested to have that price.

Finally noticing their board, he alerted the manager, who then had to inform them how to change the sign. She explained that they just raised the prices. Regardless, they were advertising that price, so I felt it was my right to only pay that amount.

After the commotion had subsided, the cashier confirmed that I would like the 10 piece. "Only if I can have it for $2.59," I replied. He asked the manager, who refused. She said that it wasn't something they could do. Annoyed, I got the 6 piece and came down with the usual McDonald's nausea.

Taking a step back from everything, I realize the argument was over twenty cents. But it had gone beyond the point of money. I was arguing on the behalf of good business practicing and for the sake of arguing.

The next day, I took the opportunity to call Corporate McDonald's customer service. Keeping up with McDonald's standards, the lady I talked to was sufficiently inept, as she argued that they don't even offer a 6 piece. I informed her that the particular establishment carried 4, 6, 10, and 20 piece chicken McNuggets, leaving her to actually look it up and agree with me. I told her the story and voiced my opinion about their business practices, letting her apologize to me profusely. She also informed me that that particular responsibility and decision is left to the owner/operator of the particular establishment. I allowed her to forward on my information to the store owner.

The following day, I received a phone call from the owner of the King City McDonald's. She tried to clarify the story with me. After talking to her employees and getting a modified version, I corrected her on all the wrong parts, including the items they were selling. Apparently it's not a requirement for anyone working at McDonald's to know their selection or prices. I informed her that there were the 4 and 6 pieces on the same row, second to the bottom, and the 10 and 20 pieces on the bottom row. It was very specific and hard to screw up.

Once she understood the situation as best as I described, I let her know that I felt the manager dealt with the situation poorly and that the McDonald's corporation would be lucky to ever receive my business again. She then tried to figure out which manager was the one working. It was fun trying to describe her.

"She was sort of short with dark hair. It was shorter than shoulder length and straight. I would consider her overweight, but I don't know if I could say that she weighed more than your average McDonald's employee." Silence.

After plenty of apologies, the owner told me she would send some coupons.

Two days later, I received a letter from McDonald's. Although it was your standard lick-to-seal envelope, it was sealed with a McDonald's happy face sticker. Inside, I found two coupon books with five individual McDonald's dollars each.

Because I refused to pay an extra twenty cents, I came out with ten dollars. It pays to complain.

Book Browsing

2006-12-20T17:37:00.000-08:00

While perusing the bargain racks at Borders, I noticed an interesting fellow. He was borderline teenage delinquent, wearing headphones and a vest or something like that. He caught my eye when he was peeking at a book with a title like "Best Sex Ever." He noticed me and started giggling. It could have been chuckling or even chortling. Ashamedly, he closed the book and walked away, but not before I shouted, "Caught you!"

Oh for Fun

2006-12-19T22:06:00.000-08:00

While browsing the pictures on my mom's computer yesterday, we found some hilarious pictures of my brother. He managed to somehow get his head stuck in the window. I bring you great pictures of embarrassment.

Archie's New Look

2006-12-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

The creators of Archie comics have apparently decided to update their look, effectively freaking out oodles of avid Rook players.

You can imagine how traumatic this might be for long time fans.

I mean, when it comes time to go to the bathroom, just think of the shock one might experience. I can't perform under pressure.

Sadness

2006-12-17T16:28:00.000-08:00

All good things must come to an end.

Olive Garden

2006-12-16T08:57:00.000-08:00

I have a long list of restaurants at which I like to eat, one of which is not Olive Garden. My dislike for this restaurant stems from many years of making fun of it. Thus, when certain things happen, it amuses me. Quite a bit, actually. You know, just saying.

Update

2006-12-15T09:10:00.000-08:00

December 14th, 2006

I figured Brandon needed a change.

Ensemble

2006-12-14T13:58:00.000-08:00

While driving home, we spotted a man riding a Harley Davidson wearing a leather jacket. This seems like a pretty standard outfit for a man riding such a vehicle, but his lower half was the notable part. He was wearing light blue shorts and Uggs. Because of this, we followed him to his destination, trying to get a good picture (we failed). It turns out he was going climbing at Rocknasium.

License Plate Frame Prank

2006-12-13T17:40:00.000-08:00

Over the past week, I've been performing my new favorite prank on Brandon. When my parents came to visit me over Thanksgiving, they brought me a customizable license plate frame. A seemingly random idea, filled with potential. Jayna and I started putting letters together until the phrase "I LOVE CRIBBAGE" was declared a winner. The fun was only beginning.

December 5th, 2006
I installed the frame in the middle of the afternoon. Brandon's car is old, so the threads on the screws were starting to wear. I sure hope he loves cribbage.

December 6th, 2006
Brandon notices the frame for the first time. He was at the grocery store and had to do a double take to make sure it was his car. He calls Kara, assuming she put me up to it, but she had no idea.

December 7th, 2006
I decided to have a little fun with Brandon's mind. By slightly altering the lettering, it would cast doubt on his passion for cribbage.

December 9th, 2006
As Brandon was taking a friend home, the friend made a comment about his cabbage license plate frame. Brandon replied, "No, I'm pretty sure it says 'cribbage.'"

December 10th, 2006
While we were leaving the grocery store, Brandon finally notices that it actually says 'cabbage.' He says, "I always thought it said 'cribbage.' 'Cribbage' is kind of funny because it's true. Cabbage is kind of lame. I'm going to have to take it down."

Later that day, I threw him a new one.

December 13th, 2006
Brandon finally noticed the new change and figured out that his frame is customizable. It looks like he'll be leaving the thing on for a while, so I still have some time to make him drive around town with rather embarrassing things on his license plate frame.

Study Session

2006-12-12T20:56:00.000-08:00

I've discovered I'm much better at hosting study sessions than actually studying. I spent my entire afternoon (since 1) preparing for this study session and didn't finish cleaning up until now (9). I baked 5 pizzas from scratch, made focaccia and had balsamic vinegar and olive oil for dipping, and baked cookies. Everything was delicious. I didn't get a whole lot of studying done though.

In retrospect, it's not like I would have studied much anyway, so I suppose it was all worth it.

Finals

2006-12-11T18:43:00.000-08:00

I did not allow myself time to properly study for my Latin final. Actually, I didn't allow myself any time to study for the final. Instead, I finished last and opted to spend half an hour talking kindly and respectfully to my professor. Hopefully he'll remember that when grading.

Trash

2006-12-10T15:35:00.000-08:00

I've discovered that drunk people can confuse a bag full of bread flour with a garbage can. This has happened twice now. The worst part this time was a beer-soaked napkin on the top of the bag.

Exhaustion

2006-12-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

Having gotten a minimal amount of sleep the past two nights, I was completely exhausted last evening. I was watching the movie Young Frankenstein when I got a call around 10pm. I paused the movie and went to my room to talk. The next thing I remember is waking up on my bed at 4:30am. I was still completely dressed. I think I was still wearing shoes.

Later this morning, Brandon commented that I looked like I had a hangover.

I don't do any mind-altering drugs. Instead, I just don't sleep.

Brandon

2006-12-08T17:31:00.000-08:00

I caught Brandon lying on the futon like this. I thought it was worth posting.

Power!

2006-12-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

When building our apartments, they decided to affix the power meters and boxes to the side of the building, right next to the walkway. It's not overly intrusive, so nobody really makes a big deal out of it. Yet every time I walk by, I have a giant urge to pull this lever:

It amuses me how they didn't really think about installing a giant on/off lever in the walkway of an apartment complex filled almost entirely with college students. I don't really know what it does, but I like to imagine that simply by pulling that lever, all the power in the building gets turned off.

Quality Relationships

2006-12-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I came to the realization that I don't think I could ever date a girl who abbreviates three letter words and uses numbers in place of similar sounding syllables (check out that alliteration). Looking at my track record, it's apparent I can only date extremely white, skinny, conservative girls, so I guess this can be added to the list. Oh dear. I suppose this means that I have a "type." This sort of freaks me out.

Carol of the Bells

2006-12-05T14:42:00.000-08:00

For the past three or four years, I've been trying to learn George Winston's Carol of the Bells in time for Christmas. I start learning it when Christmas carols are acceptable public music and have never gotten all the way through. This year, since we have a piano in the apartment and I have so much work from which I must procrastinate, I think I have a good shot at it. If I can learn the whole song and play it without screwing it up too terribly, I'll record it and post it here.

Sleepiness

2006-12-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

When I look back at the past few years of my life, I remember always being tired. When people ask how I'm doing, I usually respond with some reference to me being sleepy. This always seemed strange to me since I get more sleep than most people I know, somewhere around 9 hours of sleep a night. Now I have the strange and completely irrational fear that I've had mono my whole life.

Lies!

2006-12-04T15:37:00.000-08:00

In a rather mundane discussion of Shakespeare's Henry IV Part I, our professor made most of us question his reliability because of his adamant defense of Falstaff. In the text, according to the entire class, Falstaff lies. To this, our professor blew up and asked how we define a lie. One student merely said, "an untruth." In his defense, our professor asked the question, "If I say, 'I went to the moon yesterday,' is that a lie?"

My logic is that he was knowingly giving false information, thereby making it a lie. His argument (well, he was so sure of it, he wouldn't say it was an argument) was that it was something so absurd it was obvious he didn't actually do it and therefore it was not a lie.

There was no way we could have convinced him that his side was questionable, so we moved on. Someone then asked a question he wasn't sure of, to which he replied, "Well, I never took that philosophy course," implying that he wasn't well versed in that material. Yet for some reason, he was absolutely sure about philosophy of a lie and what constitutes one.

Maybe leprechauns have super abilities to detect lies or something.

Classical Literature

2006-12-03T13:16:00.000-08:00

Over lunch today, I heard part of an interesting conversation. This is what I heard:

"She got her degree in Classical Literature. What are you going to do with a degree in Classical Literature?"

Immediately, I locked focus on him and proceeded to give him the Stare of Death. It was then explained that I'm a Classics major, blah blah blah. Upon hearing this, he then changed his tone and started discussing the interesting things he's learned from this girl. It makes me sad when people belittle my major.

Cooking Mistake of the Day

2006-12-02T14:53:00.000-08:00

In my usual fit of baking bread, I decided to put an egg wash on top of the loaves before they went in the oven. My usual method is using a silicone spatula and laboriously dipping it into the egg wash then spreading it on top of the bread. I tried two different methods today, both of which failed miserably. The first was to pour the wash very slowly and carefully, which turned out not to be slow or careful enough. The second was to use my fingers instead of a spatula. Again, I was neither slow nor careful.

I threw the loaves in the oven and took them out about half an hour later. When taking them out of the pans, I noticed a very strange smell. The bottom of my loaves have overcooked scrambled eggs on them. It is rather disgusting.

Oreo Cows

2006-12-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

On our way to Yountville last weekend, Jayna pointed out some very peculiar cows we passed. This was the one good picture we took :

I found these cows to be rather amusing. It seems they are the cow version of Oreo cookies. Or remember those flip book things back in elementary school, where they had different body segments and you could flip them and make the people wear different clothes, specifically guys wear female clothing and vice versa? Maybe they did that with cows.

Making up explanations for these cows was quite a fun game in my mind. Then my dad goes ahead and gives a logical reason. Way to bring common sense into the picture, Dad. Way to go.

Almond Milk

2006-11-30T10:59:00.000-08:00

When I was in Yountville last weekend, Courtney introduced me to the curiosity that is almond milk. This came up in a conversation regarding my intolerance for lactose, so she gave me a carton to try out. Over the past few nights, I've been having a small glass to assess its qualities. Here is my review:

Almond milk has a very interesting consistency. When drunk [please note that "drunk" is used here as the past participle of "drink," not an adjective], it feels similar to water. There are also small sediments assumed to be almonds. If I were to close my eyes and guess the color, I would say "clear" or "slightly opaque." By far, the most notable aspect of almond milk is its taste. It has a remarkable flavor of, not surprisingly, almonds. For this reason, I would say it is not a suitable substitute for milk, but rather a liquid in its own category. What I mean by this is that if added to cereal, it would add its own distinct flavor, possibly ruining a bowl of Lucky Charms or the likes. Yet if one were eating a nut-oriented cereal, it might enhance the flavor exponentially. In contrast, there are several soy milks that can suffice as suitable substitutes for cow milk.

Now, the one burning question I have:

How on earth do you milk an almond?

Marriage

2006-11-29T15:02:00.000-08:00

In my Italian class, we work with partners everyday. As a result, I've gotten to know my partner quite well. In fact, Lia and I have even studied outside of class. I even know a few random facts about her, such as:

Her boyfriend is from Mexico.
He drives a big truck.
She's fluent in Spanish and uses it as a primary language with him.

I mention this relationship because I noticed a ring on the ring finger of her left hand. I have a few friends who wear rings there just because they want to, but this was a pretty flashy ring. It was a silver band with several inset diamonds on the top. It was the sign of a very serious relationship. After class, I questioned her about it. The conversation went something like this:

Jeff: (holding her ring finger) What's this?
Lia: That's my wedding ring.
J: What?
L: Yeah, you didn't know I was married?
J: You're serious?
L: Yes.
J: When did that happen?
L: In July.
J: But I've never seen you wear your ring before.
L: Yeah, I don't usually wear it because I don't want to get it dirty.
J: And I specifically remember you talking about your boyfriend.
L: Well, I use both terms because I'm so young.

So I've known her for two months now and have had absolutely no idea she was married. Is it normal for people to try and hide their spousal commitments? It left me very confused and I didn't really know what to do. As a result, I'm sure it seemed like I was into her and completely let down. Not the case, folks. Just a little confused.

Gorillapod

2006-11-28T16:22:00.000-08:00

I just purchased a Gorillapod today. It is completely amazing. It fulfills all of my wildest expectations. You can put it just about anywhere. It is secure on a door frame. It makes me happy.

Bad News

2006-11-27T14:36:00.000-08:00

Contrary to logic, I seem to have lost weight over the Thanksgiving weekend. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation, but I can't find it. Since there's a scale in the bathroom, I weigh myself every day at the same time and average around 107.5-108. Yet when I hopped on the scale last, it read 106. I have to have the strangest metabolism ever.

Classy Drinks

2006-11-26T12:46:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, I purchased a martini shaker so that I can mix protein powder with soy milk to become even bigger and stronger than I already am. I like to think that a mixing of so many concepts will result in an explosion of awesomeness beyond human comprehension. More likely, it will result in people making fun of me.

Bowling

2006-11-25T16:21:00.000-08:00

I always feel a little embarrassed about this fact, but whenever I go bowling, I wake up sore the next day. And I never get the right to complain about being sore because it's from bowling. Oh, predicaments.

Jayna Making Faces

2006-11-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

I had two wonderful pictures I was going to post, yet Jayna deleted them. They were self portraits of my wonderful sister with special enlargements of her nose and other aspects of her face. When I pointed them out, she sneakily went behind my back and deleted them. Sad face. I'll post some more incriminating pictures later.

Thanksgiving Traditions

2006-11-23T22:12:00.000-08:00

Most families have their own memorable Thanksgiving traditions, usually involving a turkey, gravy, canned cranberries, sparkling cider, etc. Our family has the unusual tradition of doing untraditional things. This started last year, when we couldn't all be together. My parents decided to make good use of the long weekend and go on a trip to Mexico. Yes, for one of our country's most notable holidays, my family went to Mexico. Their Thanksgiving turkey was in the form of lobster.

This year, my family came to see me in Davis. Our meal was a wonderful all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. Long live traditions.

Dolores

2006-11-22T16:31:00.000-08:00

Today in Latin, we were translating a Cicero passage where he was talking about Atticus' sister. The Latin reads:

Terentia magnos articulorum dolores habet.

The person translating was having a hard time, so our professor was mixing Latin and English. The word the translator did not know was "dolores," so our professor explained that it's just like in Spanish. He loves making comparisons to other languages, even though almost nobody ever knows what he's talking about. A partial list of languages he compares:

Greek
Latin
French
Italian
Spanish
German
Russian
Hebrew

Alas, I digress. To help her out, he said, "Terentia has great dolores." Now, with the context of "dolores" in a Spanish accent, I know I wasn't the only one who thought it sounded like it could be slang for something else than grief or pain.

Jerk Moment of the Day

2006-11-21T14:16:00.000-08:00

My official Jerk Moment of the Day happened in my Italian class. We were giving different forms of prepositions after our professor would give us the context. In one instance, we were supposed to say "dello," which most people did. One girl accidentally said, "dallo," which caused our professor to stop and say, "Did someone just say 'dallo?'" The class went awkwardly silent, so I said, "Yeah, it was her," and pointed to the girl to my left who made the mistake.

Yeah, I'm a jerk.

Slow Songs

2006-11-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

At the recent Jason Webley concert, he transitioned from a loud song into a soft, quiet one. This spurred some of the audience members to pull out lighters and wave them around, most likely out of mockery of those who earnestly do that. After looking around a bit, I noticed a bunch more lighters showing up. Since not everyone smokes, the mild, handheld illumination was achieved by waving a backlit cell phone in the air. Yet my favorite of all was the one nerdy guy on the right who held up a Nintendo DS. (Click on the image for a larger version)

Olfactory Sense

2006-11-19T19:59:00.000-08:00

This morning, I caught a whiff of something that I hadn't smelled in a long time: Dolce and Gabbana's Light Blue. To my nose, this perfume has a very distinct smell that reminds me specifically of Corey King, one of the former fragrance girls at the Santa Barbara Nordstrom.

I later went up to Maria and asked her if she was wearing perfume, to which she replied in the affirmative and pondered at the name. When I filled in the words for her, I think she was impressed. I mean, I was pretty impressed by my own nose.

Rubber Band Ball

2006-11-18T14:10:00.001-08:00

Since AJ's girlfriend moved to Massachusetts for the quarter, he's started an "I Miss Kate" rubber band ball. Basically, whenever he gets lonely, he adds more to the ball. It's currently about 15lbs and bigger than my head.

As his roommates, whenever we get bored, we take it to the fourth floor and drop it to the ground. It was pretty amazing watching it bounce all the way back to the third floor, but we had bigger things in mind. Messier things too.

Bathroom

2006-11-17T15:56:00.000-08:00

Does it strike anyone as odd that our bathroom, shared solely by three college males, has not one,

not two,

but three loofahs?

And that isn't even mentioning the Schick Intuition razor that's sitting in there for no good reason.

Jewish Pork

2006-11-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

A week or so ago, I bought some pork chops to make for dinner. The recipe I used involved onions and applesauce. As I was eating it, the combined smell and taste of the two really made me crave latkas. I thought it was rather amusing that pork so vividly reminded me of a Jewish food.

Cicero Lecture

2006-11-15T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, a lecture was given by the newest member of our Classics Department, Dr. Rex Stem. An expert on Cicero, his lecture was titled, Looking for Sincerity in Cicero's Political Rhetoric: The Case of the Pro Murena. It was a highly scholastic lecture, meaning I was able to make sense out of most of it, yet unable to ask questions showing comprehension. That's what the other faculty was for.

After several questions comparing Cicero's works to his views of Platonic thought and blah blah blah, one of my professors asked the following question:

Are you aware of Stephen Colbert's definition of "Truthiness?" Do you believe Cicero understood and used truthiness in his arguments?

If you were there and following the line of thought, it was a somewhat valid and relevant question. Yet the tone with which it was asked seemed to imply an argument made by the credentialed scholar, Stephen Colbert and his university publications on the Stoic term "truthiness." But no, it was Comedy Central.

Family Etymologist

2006-11-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

Because I'm the most linguistically and grammatically oriented member of my family, I have become the family etymologist. A few weeks ago, Jayna casually pondered to me the following etymology question:

Is the word "proctor," the man who watches everyone during tests, related to the word "proctology?"

To answer this, I quickly went to my Greek and Latin dictionaries. The easiest thing to do was to check out my Latin dictionary, Chambers Murray, to see if there was anything close. The word prōcūrātor is defined as "one who is in charge," "an administrator, manager." Thus, a proctor is the administrator of a test.

The second half of "proctology" comes from the Greek λόγος (logos), so I looked up the prokt- words in Greek. It turns out Liddell and Scott define πρωκτός (prōktos) as "anus." The search ends there.

In other words, no they are not related. That is, unless you have a rather strict proctor, one whom you would consider a pain in the πρωκτός region.

Library Etiquette

2006-11-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

As part of our lesson in Greek today, we met at the library for our instructor to show us where to find our necessary sections. I found the conduct inside the library rather interesting. Everywhere we went, our professor would pick up books to show us, then set them down on a table two feet away, then continue on. He would even pass around books and tell us to find a table to put them on when we were done. When questioned about this, he informed us that it's proper library etiquette to refrain from reshelving books, as you're most likely going to do it wrong. I guess it makes sense, but it was still a little weird.

An hour later, we went back to the library with my Latin class (same professor). It was essentially the same tour, so someone conveniently picked out all the books we needed to see and laid them on tables near their respective shelves.

Away for the Weekend

2006-11-12T16:50:00.000-08:00

Knowing I would be going away for the weekend, I spent some time cleaning the kitchen on my day off. I always like leaving my place clean. That way, when I get back it's like someone broke into the house, tidied everything up, and left everything.

Multimedia message

2006-11-11T21:50:00.001-08:00

This is pathetic. Running on four hours of sleep isn't fun, mostly because I usually get about nine. I think this overrules my college student status.

Spam? Of Course Not!

2006-11-10T15:21:00.000-08:00

I received one of the more interesting comments yesterday. In response to Ants, a kind gentleman wrote this:

Hi there, I found your blog while doing a google search rather dashing party, That's my tribe.net identity. I also have a blog Oh the humanity!

I love your blog's template, it's absolutely fantastic, did you design it yourself? Your description of the ant lady is really good too, she comes alive as a person through your words.

I'd like to exchange blog links with you. I think we come from very different life perspectives but your blog is interesting, well written and well designed.

By the way, I think your sister looks nice in that picture.

NB I'm not trying to spam you, I know google takes no account of comment links, and I've nothing to sell - I'm just introducing myself and saying "hi."

If you'd like to exchange blog links then please use the email link on my profile or let me know via my blog, thanks.

Happy blogging.

This made me happy. Not just because he had plenty of nice things to say, but also because he complimented my sister. She appreciated that too.

My favorite part was that he explicitly stated "I'm not trying to spam you." I think every email, whether it is actually spam or not, should say "This is not spam" somewhere. This email is not spam because it openly proclaims not to be spam. For some reason, that reminded me of this. Ah, good times.

Ants

2006-11-09T16:53:00.000-08:00

We have a severe ant problem at our apartment. Funny thing is, nobody else in the complex has any ants. They generally stick to the kitchen, but occasionally move over to the dining room.

Two weeks ago, we had a pest control lady come by and spray our balcony. That helped for about a day. Then the ants came back stronger than ever.

It got to the point where we would start leaving cups of syrup and honey on the balcony to attract ants, then light them on fire. They still kept coming.

Today, the ant lady came back. She pretty much covered our entire kitchen with ant poison, so there's an oddly sweet smell in there. She was very friendly, but I couldn't help noticing what a character she was.

If I had to draw a woman who kills insects for a living, she would automatically appear on the page. She was a little on the short side, wearing dirty clothes. She wore black jeans, never a very good sign. All of her teeth were distinct, as if individually outlined by a lifetime of poor oral hygiene. Her fingernails were pained a few weeks ago, leaving only the inner part of the nail colored, the rest chipped away. She reeked of tobacco.

In the few minutes of conversation I had with her, she openly spoke about her trailer. I would think that if you live in a trailer, you wouldn't volunteer the information first. If you had to speak about your dwelling place, you'd start with "home" or "place." I'd even venture a guess that "pad" or "digs" would come before "trailer." This lady really left an impression on me.

Window Washing

2006-11-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

For the first time in ever, our apartment complex is washing the outside of our windows. A week or two ago, they sent around a flyer informing us that there might be someone outside our third floor window. It's a nice gesture and all, but were they not aware that the weather gets pretty bad this time of year? Did they fail to notice that meteorologists predict rain today?

School Bullies

2006-11-07T10:56:00.000-08:00

In response to yesterday's article about elementary school fingerprinting for access to school lunches, my friend Tom had the following to say:

That's terrible! I can't believe they would do that. Now, instead of bullies beating up kids and stealing their lunch money, they will steal their arms!

Voting

2006-11-07T10:55:00.000-08:00

Is it bad that I base my votes on the grammar and syntax of the arguments?

Elementary School

2006-11-06T14:40:00.000-08:00

The California Aggie ran an Associated Press article today about my elementary school district. I was pretty excited. It's not often that a small elementary school will get such coverage that my college paper will run an article on it. Unfortunately, nobody else was too enthralled.

Target in Davis?

2006-11-05T13:42:00.000-08:00

As a resident of Davis for the past few years, I've become accustomed to the politics and mindset of the local citizens. When I first heard of Measure K, it did not surprise me at all. In fact, I was already aware of the concerns of the residents in regard to building a Target in our town. In my mind, it was a very important issue to our citizens, something everyone would like to have a say in. It wasn't until someone pointed this out to me that it seemed funny.

We're voting whether or not to put build a store? Do we also get to vote if a store can close down or not? (Answer: No)

Due to plenty of local concerns, everyone knew a plain ol' Target wouldn't be let in Davis. I can just imagine the conversation now:

Davis: We'd like the convenience of a Target in our town, but there will be a few issues with the whole thing.
Target: So what do you propose?
D: We're going to need you to register the project with LEED. It's going to have to be a green building, since Davis is a hippie town.
T: We'll work on that. Anything else?
D: We are the bike capitol of the US, so we're going to need lots of bike parking. You might as well make it covered bike parking while you're at it.
T: And...?
D: Electric car parking.
T: And...?
D: Well, you could go ahead and build a park while you're at it.

That last part is my favorite. Part of the plans for the proposed Target is three acres of trees as a greenbelt to reduce noise. I will so totally go play at the Target park.

The Yes on K team seems to give straightforward and understandable arguments. Their opposition, No on K, is incredibly annoying. In their 300 or so word argument on the front page of their website, they used the phrase "big-box" nine times. It's even in their URL. It hurts my head to read their argument.

Ah, Davis. You're so cute, yet so strange.

The Effects of a Party

2006-11-04T11:30:00.000-08:00

I realized it has been a while since I've baked some bread, so I started making some this morning. It occurred to me that I had not used my bread flour since before Joe and AJ had their party. As I reached into the bag, I noticed a very hard lump of flour. So hard, in fact, it would have hurt me if I tried to break it up. Once I took it out, I learned it was a bottle cap.

After I was kneading the bread for a while, I found a small little lump of dough that just wasn't working itself in. So I picked it off and squeezed it. It felt almost normal, but there was something a little weird. I stretched it out, but it didn't break. I then gave it a little sniff, which was about when I realized it smelled minty. Someone put some gum in my bread flour.

I don't really like parties.

Jayna's Halloween Costume

2006-11-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

I just need to let everyone know that I love my sister very much. The preceding sentence may or may not have anything to do with the following picture:

UC Davis Law Part 2

2006-11-02T14:17:00.000-08:00

In an effort to procrastinate from my paper, I made it a little easier to see what exactly this law student was working on:

Or:

Davis, CA: Body-Stashing Capitol of the World

2006-11-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

In honor of my 100th post, I will celebrate by writing about everyone's favorite celebratory topic: death.

In each of the past two days there has been an article about a body found the day prior. Since death is a very serious issue, I think you should feel terrible if you find this at all funny.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006.

Unidentified body found in McDonald's parking lot

As the title so blatantly suggests, there was an unidentified body found in a local McDonald's parking lot. Pretty much the only interesting thing gained through the content of the article was the fact that his body did not show any visible signs of trauma or distress. It seems pretty clear to me that this man died as a result of an internal problem. When I hear something like this, my first assumption would be a heart attack, since it's a pretty common form of internal distress. Now, does it seem at all strange, funny, or coincidental that they found a man dead, let's assume from a heart attack, in the parking lot of a McDonald's? Do we really need to investigate this further?

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Body found in Sproul Hall late Wednesday

This one was a little creepy since I had class at 8:00 this morning four floors above where this happened. Basically, two janitors found the body of a young Asian man hanging from a yellow rope in a custodial closet. I've never personally been to the third floor of Sproul, but one of my friends guessed it was the Chinese department. Let's assume this Asian man was Chinese. So, we have a Chinese man hanged by a yellow rope. Really now, I'm not sure this actually happened. I'm thinking it's just an elaborate, grotesque metaphor.

UC Davis Law

2006-11-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

As my roommate Brandon is looking into law school, he pointed out something funny on the UC Davis Law School website. On the Admissions page, they have a picture of a law student working at his computer:

But is he really working? If you look closely at the screen, you can notice the distinct shape of four playing cards. Not only that, but you can make out the placement of people around a table. This law student is playing online poker. And the law school approves!

The Dictionary

2006-10-31T13:31:00.000-08:00

When I had to look up the definition of a word today, I was reminded of a little clip I saw on the TV many years ago. Apparently it was against technology and for doing things the hard way. It was a race between two kids to look up a word. One kid used a regular book dictionary, the other used the computer. The book kid opened up the dictionary and flipped through the pages to the right letter. The computer kid had to turn on the computer, insert the CD, wait for the program to load, etc. The book kid was done long before the computer one.

I suppose the purpose of this was to get kids less dependent on technology. This was probably mid-90's, so I suppose it was becoming an issue. It was a lovely way of demonstrating how efficient books can be.

However, when I needed to look up a word today, my first instinct was not to grab one of my dozen or so dictionaries. Instead, I typed the word in my already open browser, pressed alt, and clicked on the word. The information was immediately at my fingertips. It seems I have failed the propaganda of my childhood.

The High Five

2006-10-30T15:08:00.000-08:00

The High Five: It's the wave of the future!

I couldn't resist the horrible pun.

DST

2006-10-29T08:53:00.000-08:00

Last night, Brandon reminded me that Daylight Saving Time was ending. I completely forgot about this fact. So much forgot that I had no idea and slightly didn't believe him. So I did what any human would do and looked it up online.

The first search result concurred with Brandon. However, it also mentioned a nice little bit of information that sounds like something I would write. On a page whose sole purpose is to inform people about DST, there is a lecture on spelling and grammar.

The official spelling is Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight SavingS Time.

Saving is used here as a verbal adjective (a participle). It modifies time and tells us more about its nature; namely, that it is characterized by the activity of saving daylight. It is a saving daylight kind of time. Similar examples would be a mind expanding book or a man eating tiger. Saving is used in the same way as saving a ball game, rather than as a savings account.
Nevertheless, many people feel the word savings (with an 's') flows more mellifluously off the tongue. Daylight Savings Time is also in common usage, and can be found in dictionaries.

Adding to the confusion is that the phrase Daylight Saving Time is inaccurate, since no daylight is actually saved. Daylight Shifting Time would be better, but it is not as politically desirable.

English Competency

2006-10-28T16:26:00.000-07:00

As a requirement to graduate, UC Davis makes all candidates either take an upper division writing class or pass a competency exam. As an English major, I have written many essays in my career here. However, this was a different kind. As I read through the passage, I immediately started noting alliteration and other stylistic devices, only to realize that they won't care. This exam is more of the university's way of asking the following questions:

Can you read?
Can you understand what you read?
Can you form coherent sentences that show you can understand what you read?
Will you be an embarrassment to our institution if we give you a degree?

I realized this as I was reviewing my final work. Noticing many areas where flow could have been improved or other points tied in better, I had to stop before my mind got bored. I asked myself, "Would this essay pass a competency exam?" Then I folded down my desk and turned in the essay.

Halloween Costume

2006-10-27T18:12:00.000-07:00

As an officer of the Classical Studies Association, I think it's part of my responsibility to attend this Halloween party. On top of that, I think I have to dress up as someone from antiquity. This makes me sort of sad.

On a related note, Jeff Probst was asking me if I had a costume for him to wear to parties this weekend. I informed him that I have a few lab coats and bow ties he could wear. Being Jeff, he honestly didn't know what he could do with that. So I offered the obvious: a doctor. He then got a twinkle in his eye and noted that he could add a sign that says, "Free Breast Exams." Sadly, I don't think it was a joke.

The Weather

2006-10-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

The weather confuses me. Just yesterday, I was complaining about how windy it was. This morning, the temperature dropped so drastically, I had to wear gloves. Even then, my fingers were still numb by the time I got to school. The temperature had warmed up some by the time I was biking home, but it was still pretty nippy. Yet when I went on a little adventure with Brandon, the weather was ridiculously gorgeous. There was a slight breeze, warm sun, blue skies. I'm utterly confused.

Partners

2006-10-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

I think it's funny how homosexuals refer to their significant others as "partners." They intentionally use a gender-ambiguous term to cast a cloud over their sexual orientation. Yet if someone refers to his or her "partner," you can almost be certain this person is gay.

I've been thinking up a list of reasons why heterosexuals would refer to their significant others as "partner." Here is what I came up with:

When the couple considers themselves at the status of married, only without the license.
When the one views the other as an object, less than human.
"Partners in Crime." You know, when they've been struggling through their differences for the whole movie, then the dominant one reaches out a hand and offers equality by calling the other "partner..."
Cowboy friends. It's not a gay thing, it's a cowboy thing. Although arguably... well, let's not get into that.

USPS Redefines Davis

2006-10-24T13:52:00.000-07:00

Our apartment is located less than half a mile from I-80. We're two blocks from probably the largest exit in Davis. We're maybe a mile from the center of the UC Davis campus and next door to part of the extension. Yet our mail is delivered by the "rural carrier," a sad looking Jeep-type vehicle.

Soup or Salad?

2006-10-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

Waiter: And would you like soup or salad with your entree?

Man: Salad.

Waiter: And what kind of salad would you like?

[Pause]

Man: Lettuce.

Preview Day

2006-10-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

My job yesterday was to sit at a table and try and get kids interested in Classics. It was for Preview Day, a chance for high school kids to see what's so great about Davis. This particular part was a basketball court filled with rows of tables from all the departments and programs on campus.

The thing that amused me most was the seemingly random order in which they put the tables. The Classics table was squeezed right between the Chemistry and Physics tables. Not only is this completely illogical, but also a big letdown. Our table was the one with a giant gap in people. Since Chemistry and Physics are more popular majors, they attracted more people. And on top of that, they had all sorts of cool demonstrations with which we had no chance of competing. I mean, would you rather read a Latin 1 textbook or eat a graham cracker dipped in liquid nitrogen?

Party

2006-10-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

Apparently there will be a party in our apartment tonight. This has happened before, so I have a pretty good idea what will happen. There will be loud music throughout the rest of the apartment and I will sit in my room with earplugs and earmuffs. I did get some advice from AJ though:

You'll probably want to move your plant somewhere else. If Mark sees it and finds out it's an herb garden, he'll probably pee on it. He'll definitely spit on it, then probably pee on it.

Well, I'm glad this doesn't happen that often. They're great roommates otherwise, and I suppose they could be holding many more parties.

Straight Pride Week

2006-10-20T16:42:00.001-07:00

Having just read an article about Gay Pride week, I have the strong desire to start a Straight Pride week. I would fill it with lots of skewed references to gay pride, keeping it fun. I'd have people sharing their "coming out of the cupboard" stories and have traditional straight activities, like dating or other awkward things.

My only fear is that people would take it the wrong way. No, it is not meant as a mockery of homosexuality, only a mockery of the celebration. I always find it silly when people celebrate causes with the excuse that "you get to celebrate yours every other day of the year." I counter that argument by saying, "No, we don't." Things accepted as socially dominant never get the chance to celebrate for fear of angering others by being sexist, racist, or whatever -ist is appropriate. So in a sense, the less widely chosen paths are more free in their celebration.

If homosexuality is not a choice but a part of who you are, I would like to be able to celebrate my heterosexuality as part of who I am. I would like to be able to tell the story of the awkward conversation with my parents that I do in fact like girls. I would like to be able to comfortably walk in public around people who don't discriminate against me for liking girls. I have this dream. This is my vision.

From Bunny Ears to LSP

2006-10-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

Like most adults, I tie my shoes using the "Loop, Swoop, and Pull" method. This is how I learned to tie them, so this is how I have been doing it all my life. As most of us remember about the learning experience, there was an alternative method. Supposedly easier to learn, the "Bunny Ears" method was taught to some prior to "Loop, Swoop, and Pull." However, as time passes, Bunny Ears fades away with childhood.

It should be mentioned that this summer, I had the amazing epiphany that the LSP and Bunny Ears methods are exactly the same, but that's beside the point. Think about it for a while, but then forget it for the sake of my argument.

Anyway, a fully formed adult will occasionally slip into society without making the transition from Bunny Ears to LSP. This is a drastic step into adulthood missed completely by some. This is like never going through puberty, having adults never have to shave and sound like they're constantly on helium.

Growing out of Bunny Ears is a part of growing up. It is a highly traditional maturation rite. Granted, we all mature at different rates. Yet we choose how to tie our shoes and how to teach others how to tie theirs. Is it okay for our adult friends to still use Bunny Ears? Maybe. But they will have to face the conflict eventually. Bad habits are hard to break, but the important ones are necessary to conquer. We strive for a progressive future. This is no time to bring back the Dark Ages.

Yucky!

2006-10-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Standing around over lunch on Sunday, one of my friends turned to me and commented about my dad's cooking. The one food that stuck so strongly in her mind was what apparently sounded like "yucky." Scott Boggs, culinary expert and human extraordinaire, then turned to me with a puzzled look on his face and asked, "What's yucky?" I smirked and shrugged, then said, "Gnocchi," to which he sighed a relieved, "Ahh." It was like a cool club where you either have to know a bit about food or a little Italian. Lucky for me, I fit into both categories.

Literally.

2006-10-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

If you are reading this, I suspect it's safe to assume you are a literate English speaker. Given this fact about you, it would be reasonable to say that you have some sort of knowledge about the English language in terms of grammar and structure. As an English major, I feel particularly keyed into the idiosyncrasies of our language, and find poor grammar particularly harsh on my ears.

However, my rant for today has less to do with grammar and more to do with outright lying. At the moment, my particularly favorite pet peeve is the misuse of the word "literally." In proper contexts, "literally" is used when something actually happens. You can only say, "It was literally raining cats and dogs" when cats and dogs are actually falling from the sky as rain does. "Literally" gets most of its use in situations similar to this example. Well meaning patrons of the literal store use the word to emphasize their point, but end up gently removing the validity from their statement.

At this point, I'd like to mention a rather humorous web log devoted to the misuse of our favorite little word. "Literally, A Web Log" notes glaring misuses and often visually displays what a true literal situation would be. Such classics as "literally coughing his head off" and "could literally go on forever" are among the many great examples of our society's misuse of language.

Alas, instead of passively watching our grammar go to waste, I have resorted to several methods in an effort to fix this problem. The first is to insert a very sarcastic "literally" whenever anyone uses it, correctly or incorrectly. This is often followed by the entire phrase repeated again, emphasizing each word. The purpose is to make its use as annoying as possible, hopefully to the point where people start phasing it out of their daily lexicon. Sort of what "gnarly" did by itself.

My second method, an extrapolation on the first, basically consists of inserting the sarcastic form whenever it's appropriate, regardless of its prior use by another. Much to the dismay of most of my friends, this is rather common. The hope here is once again that people will stop their deceitful ways and start respecting the valid definition of the word.

My third method—and by far my favorite—is instead of fixing other people's wrong, I merely introduce a new one. I intentionally abuse the word "figuratively" in a similar manner most people do "literally." Add a real sarcastic tone and it really starts to confuse people. For example, "That class was packed. There were figuratively fifty people there. Figuratively. Fifty. People."

It's at this point a friend responds, noting that there were in fact fifty people in the class and that he doesn't understand why you're emphasizing the figurative aspect of it. But that's the joy of it. It makes just as much sense as misusing "literally," but rarely are people confused when that happens.

To our language as a living entity, there is little one college student can do to counteract such a major error. Yet with enough force and impetus, I feel I can make a difference. This is how I help the world, one grammar mistake at a time.

Piano Theft

2006-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, the Coffee House piano was stolen. If you're unfamiliar with UC Davis, the CoHo is a popular semi-cafeteria eating establishment located in the busiest part of campus. If you are unfamiliar with pianos, they are generally very large, heavy, and for the most part stationary instruments. Thus, it amuses me that someone would even think about stealing a piano, much less one located in a place where you would have to slowly move it about half a mile in an open area. I mean, honestly. Did they really expect to get away with it?

Recycle!

2006-10-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

I think it's funny how the people you find working at recycling centers are the ones I would think least likely to care about recycling.

Congratulations

2006-10-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

Last night, I received an interesting phone call.

Around 7:30, I answered my phone to hear a man ask for me. He was calling in response to a job I applied for, yet told me they were unable to offer me a position at that time. However, he mentioned they would keep my application on file in the event that something came up in the next month or so. I thanked him, and he wished me a good evening.

After hanging up, I started wondering if the whole "on file" bit was something he was telling everybody, and that the "file" was a plastic bin they sent to the recycling company. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to inquire again.

Around 8:00, I recieved the same call from the same man letting me know the same information. I decided to play along like I hadn't received the first call. When he was finished, I asked, "So, this means you liked me better than other people?" He sort of laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess you could say that." He went on to explain that there were 30 or so people who applied for the position and they accepted only 10. Then I asked, "So of those 30, where did I rank?" Unable to give me a precise number, he explained that they only put 2 or 3 on file. Satsified with my interrogation, I bid him a good weekend and hung up.

Having felt proud for my courage in asking blunt questions to a potential employer, I felt there was one more burning question that would have been even more inappropriate to ask: Who calls at 8:00 on a Friday night to tell anyone he or she didn't get a job? Who makes that call at 8:00 on any night? I could understand if it was getting accepted and they would be needing me in on Monday, but why call then if you are the bearer of bad news? "In case you were planning on having a good weekend, I'd like to let you know something that might ruin it."

Well, at least had the decency to make it a personal phone call. And at least it was a conversation we were both expecting.

Mom for Congress

2006-10-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

I have just discovered that my mother is running for Congress. Actually, it looks like she's running for reelection, since she's been a member since 1998. There are things I never knew about my mother. For instance, she looks very different in photos on the internet. I would even claim that she's of a different ethnicity. But what do I know? I'm only her son.

Tell Her I Say Hello

2006-10-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

I was busy doing funeral activities most of today. This mainly includes getting there and back, but there was the actual service as well.

Anyway, there were many many people there. One man was talking to the people I was with, then turned to me. I introduced myself, giving my first and last names. When he still wasn't sure of who I was, I also included that I was from Santa Barbara. Since I had no memory of ever meeting this man, I was surprised when he kept trying to figure out who I was. Apparently enlightened, he left it at that.

It turns out he was seated right next to me. In a room with 1500 or so people in it, it's not surprising they had to pack the chairs tightly. We ended up nearly sharing a chair. At one point, he turns to me and says, "Tell your mother I say hello. She was good friends with my wife years ago."

It was at this point when I recalled that he never told me who he was. He never introduced himself or anything. It took him several minutes to figure out who I was, even after given an introduction. Yet apparently I was supposed to know who he was.

So there you have it. Mother, this man says hello.

Italian Homework

2006-10-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be day number 11 of my Italian 1 class, and it is the first day any homework is actually due. On top of that, it's essentially writing three sentences in Italian all along the lines of "My name is Jeff. I am from Santa Barbara." When confronted about homework, our instructor said, "Well, you have a workbook, don't you? And are there answers in the back? Yes there are. So why would I want something you already have the answers for?" Since every now and then the book asks you to write something it can't correct (such as your name), these are the only parts he wants. It's like some weird kind of reverse psychology that doesn't actually work.

Concert(ina)

2006-10-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

One of my new favorite things to do is to practice my accordion on our balcony. It makes me feel Italian or something. I enjoy this act not only because it involves me playing the accordion, but also because we have a popular bike path that runs directly in front of our apartment. This means that about 90% of the bikers riding on the path will turn their heads in puzzlement of what is going on. It leaves them very vulnerable for things that may or may not be thrown at them from the other side.

Phantom Oven

2006-10-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

For dinner, I baked some chicken. I pulled the three chicken legs I've been marinating out of the fridge, preheated the oven to 375, and waited. Once it was heated, I put the chicken in the oven and set the timer for an hour.

About 45 minutes later, I went back to the kitchen to find that not only was the timer off, but the entire oven was as well. Brandon questioned whether or not I turned the oven on in the first place, but Joe was there to verify that it was hot when I threw the chicken inside. A little freaked out, I set the oven back to 375 and put the timer on 30 minutes to check on it.

About 10 minutes later, Brandon yells at me that something was beeping. I assumed it was the oven finished heating, so I didn't bother checking.

Maybe 25 minutes after I set the timer, I went back to check on the oven, but there was no indication of any timing going on. I checked the internal temperature of the chicken, then decided to wait another 20 minutes.

Five minutes later, the oven started beeping, presumably for the time it wasn't actually keeping.

I eventually got my chicken fully cooked and ate it. It was delicious, if slightly complicated to cook.

Contest Part Deux

2006-10-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

In an effort to preserve my dental roots (it's a pun, you see), I have my own personal challenge going along with the blogging one. I have challenged myself to floss every day as well as rinse with mouthwash twice a day. It's been about two weeks now and my first failing was last night. I fell asleep on top of my bed, so all I had energy for was to brush my teeth. I really didn't need the shock of mouthwash to help me go back to sleep.

So that was my confession as well as public declaration of my intent to keep my mouth clean. Seriously though, that "dental roots" pun was pretty clever, don't you think? I mean, my dad is a dentist. Good oral hygiene helps preserve the roots of your teeth. See, it's funny because...

Fwd:

2006-10-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

For some reason, Grandma decided to send my entire family a forward, an act we all find somewhat annoying. However, this email made me giggle. The subject line was "Fw: Can u smell Friday?" First off, the whole "abbreviating a three letter word" thing was enough to make me cringe. Next it was the content.

It started off with our favorite form of image, the animated gif:

This was followed by more of the same, each of a different animal animated in a way to make it look like it's dancing. Then at the very bottom, amidst several other dancing animals, I found this gem:

Oh, Grandma. It makes me slightly uncomfortable that you sent this to me.

Jam Session

2006-10-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, Brandon was playing his guitar in his room, so I walked in with my accordion and we played together. Joe was sitting in the room as well, talking to Brandon, then got a phone call. I imagine it must have been awkward talking to someone who has a guitar and accordion playing awkwardly in the background. Fortunately, I thrive in awkwardness.

Book Towels

2006-10-05T22:05:00.000-07:00

When I move my books around, I always like to put towels in the boxes to pad them as well as disperse the weight. I am very much in love with my books, so I like knowing they're safe.

When I took a shower last night, I was using a towel that had not been used since before I moved up. When I was drying my face, I noticed the unmistakeable smell of my Oresteia. I think it might be a little pathetic that I can recognize my books by smell alone.

Date and Time?

2006-10-04T15:16:00.000-07:00

Since I was put in charge of redesigning the Classical Studies Association website, I was browsing the old one for content. It's a rather embarrassing piece of freewebs.com property, so it can use a nice deletion. Anyway, the thing that struck me as odd was the date it listed in the top corner of the page:

At first, I thought "19106" was some sort of zip code or other number like that, but was curious as to why it was next to the date. Then it dawned on me: nineteen one hundred six, seven years after nineteen ninety nine. Then I remembered: I never did anything to prepare for Y2K! We're all going to die!

Internship

2006-10-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

I got an interesting phone call yesterday. It went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Him: Hey, is this Jeff?
Me: Yep.
Him: Hi, this is Jack. I was in your class today and you wanted some more information on internships.
Me: Nope.
Him: No? It was a little yellow card that was passed around in your class...
Me: Nope.
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Pretty sure. What class was it?
Him: I don't remember. I went to about 10 classes today. It was either Com, Econ, Psych...
Me: Nope.
Him: Well, are you interested in an internship?
Me: Not really.
Him: Okay. Well, I have a bunch of other people on this list here, so... have a nice day.

I thought this was a very strange phone call. So I turned around in the kitchen and told my roommates. Brandon and Joe were busting up laughing. Apparently Brandon decided to fill out my information on one of those cards. I'm actually glad he did. It's like some weird sort of prank call where neither side has any idea what's going on.